


The Remnants of Us

by Masterofpretending



Category: Misfits (TV 2009)
Genre: Angst, M/M, mention of alisha x simon, uhh yeah basically just angst, why did I write this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-02
Updated: 2019-05-02
Packaged: 2020-02-16 01:02:02
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 956
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18680938
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Masterofpretending/pseuds/Masterofpretending
Summary: How can you know you've made the wrong choice when you didn't even know you had one to begin with?





	The Remnants of Us

”What was I supposed to do?” Simon hisses, his hands clenched into angry fists and his cold blue eyes staring down Nathan in a way that makes his blood boil. 

 

”You were ready to leave me for her!” Nathan shouts back, his voice painfully raw. 

 

They're standing in Simon’s bedroom, the deep blue walls making the room feel small, suffocating.  Simon is wearing his black shirt buttoned all the way up and Nathan just want to rip it apart, making the buttons fall to the floor one by one. He wants chaos and mess and everything that he knows Simon fears. He wants to ruin him.

 

”You know it was more complicated than that, I didn’t just-” Simon takes a moment to think, trying to find the words that won't paint him as the bad guy, as the one who fucked up for once.

 

”I thought I  _ had _ to choose her,” he says finally, giving Nathan a pleading look that Nathan just wants to cover with his fist. Wants to erase. 

 

”Yeah well, ” he snarls, the words feeling like sharp venom on his tongue, ”You got what you wanted, your perfect little future with your beautiful princess.”

 

Simon sighs in frustration, ”Come on Nathan,” he shoots back, ”It’s not like  _ this _ , whatever is going on between us, was leading to anything.”

 

The words break Nathan in a way he thought he couldn’t be broken. They say that he's invincible, immortal, but at that moment a part of him dies. His eyes sting cruelly and Nathan has to tell himself that if he cries he really is the biggest pussy in the world. He can’t let Simon see him cracking, can’t let him see the carefully placed bricks around him falling apart. He doesn’t deserve to fix him. Not this time. Not ever again. 

 

”You prick,” He breathes out and for a second the other man’s face softens.

 

”Are you…” Simon hesitates, taking a step forward and looking deeply into Nathan’s eyes, ”Are you crying?”

 

Nathan shoves him away hard. Wants him to fall, wants him to hurt just as badly as Nathan is hurting.

 

”No, I’m not fucking-” he punches Simon in the chest again, and again, and again.

 

He punches until Simon is forced to hold him back by his wrists, his hands firm, and warm, and addictive. He wants Simon to hold him forever. Pull his broken pieces together. Kiss him until it’s all okay again. But he also wants Simon to get stuck in a fucking meat-grinder.

 

”Nathan, please,” he begs and Nathan doesn't know if he means that he wants him to stop fighting but nevertheless, he eases into his grip, lets his muscles unclench. 

 

Simon is still holding onto him, his thumb making soothing circles into his skin. His look of resentment and anger has disappeared just as quick as it once arrived and his eyes are now soft as they carefully study Nathan. 

 

”Don’t give me that look,” Nathan mumbles, afraid that if he speaks too loud his composure will once again fail him and tears will stream down his cheeks. 

 

Simon let’s go of his wrist and instead lets his hand cup the other man’s face, holding him in place like a mother who wants to give her grumpy child a sweet goodnight kiss. 

 

”I’m sorry,” he says, ”I can’t believe I’m such a fucking idiot.”

 

Nathan doesn't answer, instead, letting his eyes carefully search Simons face for any hint of insincerity. Are his gray eyes hiding lies under his tired eyelids and heavy lashes? Does his thin, pink lips speak the truth or are they bullshitting him right to his face?

 

”I’m sorry-”

 

”Don’t,” Nathan interrupts. 

 

He doesn’t want to hear it again. Doesn’t want to be reminded of all the ways they are breaking apart. Of all the ways that Simon can't love him in the way he needs. 

 

He leans into Simon’s warm, beautifully distracting lips in a hope that they will wash away the hurt. With every touch, Nathan tries to forget the inedible end, tries to make the wrong feel right. He feels dizzy and his heart flutters bitterly at the way Simon pulls him closer, breathes into the kiss. It’s sweet and warm and all the things that make him fall for Simon over and over again. It’s perfect, painfully so. He bites angrily at Simon’s bottom lip but the other man just moans in response. He wants him to pull away in pain, wants him to bleed and Nathan bites him again when he leans away to catch his ragged breath. They take a second to breathe before Nathan pulls him back in, tugging hard at his collar. He needs to taste him properly, memorize the way his tongue feels against his own before he finally let's go. 

 

When Nathan pulls them apart his eyes are still closed, trying to savor the warmth of Simon’s mouth, the smell of his fresh cologne still tingling his nose.

 

”I’m gonna go,” he whispered and he hears Simon take a shaky, pathetic, breath in response.

 

”Nathan, don’t leave,” he pleads, and he sounds almost as broken and beaten as Nathan feels.

 

He opens his eyes but has to look away again when he sees Simon’s wet blue eyes and trembling, sore lips. Nathan turns around, takes a deep breath of his own before walking up to the doorway, his hand hesitating at the cold metal of the doorknob. 

 

”Nathan,” Simon says again and this time his name sounds more like a warning than a plea, ”If you walk out that door, we’re through.”

 

Nathan turns to look at him, gives him one last crooked grin that he knows doesn’t reach his eyes. 

 

_ ”We already are.” _

**Author's Note:**

> I know I personally hate angst without happy endings (I genuinely do not know how I managed to write this) so sorry I guess??
> 
> Thanks for reading it anyway <33


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